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Impress me IF you can...

Impressing me is so not an easy task...think you can?...I highly doubt it but I'm listening...go ahead...try!.Either you'll actually.....A. Suceed and woo me B. Give me material for a good laff or......C. Just piss me off.

.. So think twice and speak once and watch out for that (close to invisible) line between humorous & trollish it's real easy to cross and I hate to have to be mean.First impressions are like virgins & sex you only get a first time once.

I however am not here to impress anyone. I come to chat with my "friends" & aquaintances ....tease a troll or two and have a laff.Do not ask me if I wanna go pvt with you the answer is NO! .

.. IF I want to go pvt with you, I'd let YOU know. And there are no exceptions.Do not ask me if I have hoo .... I am not giving out my hoo to just anyone, and as long as I don't know you, you are JUST ANYONE *smiles* ty in advance for not asking.

IF you got a tad of intelligence that's a plus... more than a tad even better, and a great sense of humor will earn ya bonus points. Ohh and reading the profile is worth a point too .

.. lol.However my "Impression" level requires quite a few more points than that.Typos are ok I'm fluent in typonese myself, but if your completely illiterate I'd suggest you get the hell outta chat and google a learn to spell program.

Rudeness, ignorance, ill manners and flat out stupidity are inexcusable.Would you approach a girl in a public setting and ask her if she wants to fuck? or if she's horny or wet? .

.. well maybe some guys would, and for the right amount of money I s'pose with some girls you'd get lucky with that. I don't care if ...A. You got a 12 inch cock.

.. thats a few too many inches more than I need so that doesn't impress me either...B. You love to eat a girl out for hours & hours, buy a blow up doll cause I have ADD and repetitiveness bores me.

C. You are hot and hard and sitting there with your hand on your cock, learn how to use it and rub it out, jerk it off or pummel it...who cares just get over it.D. You THINK you can make me wet.

.. if I wanna get wet I'll jump in the shower.If I come in the room and you ask if I wanna fuck, my answer will be NO! but you are welcomed to go fuck yourself *smiles*.Don't ask me what I'm wearing, Duhhh my clothes what else? *rolls eyes* .

.... do you really think SANE ppl dress up in miniskirts, corsetts, stockings & heels JUST to get online? .... Anyway, now that I've given you a lil' to think about before approaching me.

...... Have a great day *smile* Couple seeks man JUST friends......Age, gender & sexual preferences are irrelevant.I'm only interested in making friends. Not cyber partners, R/L or internet booty calls, or friends w/ sexual benefits.
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sexy woman

I'm in the military, I work hard all week but am always up for fun any night or weekend. I enjoy going out drinking and sometimes kareokee and most things social. I enjoy shooting and fishing but my favorite thing is music.

I'm semi-intellegent if you wanna talk. Not totally sure I want one mostly just trying to meet new people, but I wouldn't rule out a little extra fun if we connect.

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Couple seeks man

I am a creative, adventurous and sweet guy. I believe in being a gentleman. I work with my hands, and logical problem solving. I'm not married, no strings attached, gainfully employed and have my own residence.

My interest are varied and am no slouch to talk with, or play. Couple seeks man affectionate, good looking, empathic and good communication skills, doesn't hurt to have a brain
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Discrete and Clean

I'm a very discreet man. I understand a need for that and trust. I'm not looking for any strings. I do claim to be very good at deep tissue massage you can find me on as mushroomproducer couple seeks man A woman that knows what she wants wants and needs.

No need to be shy with me. anytime and anywhere for pleasure. Why feel clumsy about anything, you call, i'm there
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want to have fun

well i'm twenty one now and ready to have fun i love the way a girl feels i have had some expeirence but now i want more Couple seeks man a sexy girl that likes to play
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looking for open minded female (Slut In Bedroom) Couple seeks man

Single white professional male. I am nice looking good job, financially stable and looking for same. I am 6ft brown hair blue eyes and have a maui couple swapping club trim build. also well endowed.

I am open minded both in and out of the bedroom and like to keep busy and try new things and have a fun time. Seeking nice looking white female who would like a steady, safe, caring long-term relationship with an exceptional, handsome,nice looking never married white male, Enjoy having fun, watching, particating, pics and video.

Also very oral. I would be sincere and faithful only to you. Long-term or marriage minded.
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Wanna have fun...

I love to have fun and explore new things. If your looking for Couple seeks man that, contact me.
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sexy woman

Well I'm out-going. I'm very nice. call me. I love to make girls happy. I'm a College man, that wants to get far in life. I live in 702 make 9 weekly. 1984 was a good year ;) I work hard to get what I want.

So give me a cal. So look^ for the numbers^. So if ^you want me cal me;) I will not message back on this site. If you are real you will call me. Just look for my number here. Thats the only way you will heir from me.

Couple seeks man Well I like small tits, but any size will do. I love to eat pussy, and I love it when a girl gives me head. I like slim, and athletic girls. I want a girl that can go 3+ hours for sex.

I will not pay for this site. So call me.
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I'm here for fun, and maybe more.

I am an intelligent man with brown eyes and brown hair. I love changing my look every once and awhile. I like to charm women and lavish them maui couple swapping club with nights out. Other times I prefer to cuddle on my bed and watch a movie.

I have never met a women who wasn't fascinated with me. Couple seeks man I am interested in all flavors and styles. I do prefer slim women and im not against last minute hookups in that case send me a message asap and i will always respond within 24 hrs.
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like to meet new people also on y aho o

I am interested in meeting new people. I have been here for a few months but have not gotten out that much. Ready to see what I might can get into. Couple seeks man Male or female Couples are nice if there is no hard feelings when I work on your man or your woman.

Like to be with couples who are also friends. Just looking to have a very nice time. Maybe we can work together to open up your partner to new things.

Hoipe to meet you and try those things that you have thought about.

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How We Started Swinging

I hope this doesn't get too long for you, but let me give you some history of us. Even before we got married I knew I could never fully satisfy her sexually. I could eat her to satisfaction, but as soon as I tried to fuck her I cum within 2 or 3 strokes. Sometimes even before getting it in her. We had been living together for about three months when one night while I was at work she got drunk and let one of the guys we work with, and had a reputation of using women for his pleasure, fuck the shit out of her. She said she was sorry and I could really satisfy her with my tongue, but she likes a really good fuck too. She said she would understand if I made her move out. I asked her to marry me instead. Then when I first started to talk about a threesome she was very reluctant to even talk about it. Well it finally came out that she thought that this was just a way for me to get even and other women. So I told her I had no intentions of fucking other women, that I just wanted her to have all the sexual pleasure she desired. So with that said we set some rules to play by. How silly of me to think they would last. 1. This was for her sexual pleasures and her desires. 2. I was not to have any sexual relation with any other woman than her. 3. No kissing that was intimate and was to be reserved for us. 4. Condoms would be used for penetration because I felt that should be reserved for us. Well our first time was pretty much as we had discussed it. We met him for drinks and a "get to know each other meeting". The next meeting we met him at a motel bar. We had a couple of dinks and talked then he asked if he should get a room. Before I could speak she said "sure I'm ready". As soon as he left to get the room I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this. Well her answer was "was I ready to see my wife fucked by another man". About that time he returned with the key and we were off to the room. As soon as we got to the room his shirt was off. As he started to help her with her clothes we could tell she was nervous. So I asked again was she sure she wanted to do this. She was sure , but I should go to the bar and get me another beer and give her a couple of minutes alone with him. When I returned back to the room with my beer I wasn't prepared for what I saw. He was naked laying back on the bed and she was naked kneeling over him sucking away on his cock. His cock was about the same size as mine. She looked up with this big smile and said get your clothes off an cum get this pussy ready for a good fuck. And laid back and spread her legs for me. Well it didn't take but a second to be naked and my head between her leg licking away. I felt him moving on the bed so when I looked up his dick was back in her mouth and she was sucking him as I licked her.