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If I get your number on Saturday, I really should call by tuesday. Wednesday is pushing it, and Thursday is way to late. If I get your number on Thursday, I really have no idea when to call because Saturday is taboo for first phone calls, Friday would seem desparate, and Monday is like a whole lifetime away.

Here's what I go through for you people. I was trying to have my friend take my picture to post here. I was standing on my head in a yoga pose (looking all athletic and stuff) next to the sliding door which i thought was closed.

When I leaned back too far, I fell through the curtains onto my back onto the outside porch! See the photo of the bruises on my back from landing on the threshold. I hope you're all happy! I'll strike up convo with any cashier, docent, or cabbie.

Their jobs are boring enough! Let's throw 'em a bone. Seriously, though, I'll debate the socio-political implications of paper vs. plastic or offer a comparative analysis of taking surface street shortcuts instead of languishing in rush hour traffic.

I'll be the Phil Hartman to your ... Maura Tierney. (Newsradio, late 90s) Pls don t fuck my wife My perfect match and I will get each other in a way that is scary. We'll have inside jokes and often be the only two people in the movie theater laughing.

We like to try new things together and go places that are off the beaten path. We're not afraid to stick our necks out socially, but we enjoy quiet evenings at home as well.

People frequently tell us to "get a room!" Have you read The Art of Sexual Ecstasy? I actually wrote it. As a ghost writer, of course. Also, I give an excellent 1-hour talk all about the importance of humility.

It's true I can be a bit of a BS-er, but only because it's fun. You can play it straight or out BS me. Either way I'll be the Ponch to your Jon, figuratively, I mean.
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Commitment-wise, let'

Commitment-wise, let's go slow and see where things lead. The philosophy I live by is "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." When I'm at home alone, a lot of personal projects and hobbies keep me occupied.

When I'm out driving I want to keep going forever. To me, traveling means broadening horizons. I want to wake up every day eager to face the possibilities I look forward to finding the right person; I know you're out there! I'm not changing my life, I just want to improve it to the tune of one man.

If you contact me remember that I'm looking for a relationship, not just a one-night stand.

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Pls don t fuck my wife

Im a fun loveing kind of guy. who likes to experince new things and meet new people.I am not about playing games so if you about games dont waste yo time. Pls don t fuck my wife if you can stimulate my mind the the reward is great.
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I'm an average guy looking for an average gal for no strings attached sex

I'm into just about anytype of sex with a woman as long as its not too freaky or bondage stuff, oral, anal, mutual pleasure, and all kinds of positions pls don t fuck my wife I'm looking for a open and willing woman locally for no strings attached sex
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Hott & Sexy

I'm a nice young man in my late forty's looking for a nice young woman who can handle what a real man has to offer ! Well thank to all that has applied but now I'm off the market,I have a new love. Thanks Pls don t fuck my wife Has to be a fine,sexy,and attractive FEMALE that is willing to try new things and explore a new sexual world !
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basically,just fun. . . Pls don t fuck my wife

I am 48, soon to be 49...no one ever believes me....hmmm I'm a partner in an entertainment company. I'm around lots of women, from go go dancers to regular club goers, maui couple swapping club but here I am on , for almost 2 years now.

..lol I love the entertainment on this site! and I have a few friends that I really like to kick it with... I am so puzzled when I read a womans profile that's got all of these demands, and wanting to find a nice guy that will fulfill their every need.

Well, this is not E Harmony, and there is a 99.9% chance that he is not on this site. These guys just want to F you,or get you to undress.

..I have 5 male friends that are on here, and they have no intention of getting into a meaningful relationship from . Be realistic, this is , that's why they named it that. I hope that doesn't sound to condescending,don't mean to be.
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A REAL WOMAN LOOKING FOR A REAL MAN

WELL MY NAME IS HILLARY...I AM A 25 YEAR OLD YOUNG EDUCATED BLACK WOMAN WITH A COLLEGE DEGREE IN BUSINESS...I'M COOL, LAID BACK, GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR, LOVE TRYING NEW THINGS...I AM A VERY OPENED MINDED AND SPONTANEOUS PERSON.

...I AM THE MOTHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS NAME ASHTON(FOUR YEARS OLD) AND ARMANI(THREE YEARS OLD)....I HAVE A HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS..I HAVE DIRECTION, MORALES, VALUES, GOALS AND I DO NOT TOLERATE BULL****.

..SO IF YA ABOUT THAT DRAMA...OR YOUR FULL OF LIES...DO ME A FAVOR AND KEEP IT MOVING......BUT IF U ARE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS KEEPS IT 100 HOLLA AT YA GIRL...IF NOT DON'T WASTE MY ****ING TIME!!!.

..1 LOVE!!! Pls don t fuck my wife NOT LOOKING FOR A BUT A REAL GOOD MAN TO CALL MY OWN SOMEONE THAT CAN NOT ONLY BE MY LOVER BUT MY BEST FRIEND...HE AND ONLY HE WILL GET FREAKED ALL DAY EVERYDAY, ANYTIME ANYWHERE.

....
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looking for some fun

I am a very easy going person and up for anything at anytime. I love a good time so if you think your the one to Pls don t fuck my wife show me that good time contact me.
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willing to try new things, just wanna have some maui couple swapping club no-strings attached real hard-core sex!!!! Pls don t fuck my wife IM lets have some fun and meet up
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I'm on wedate

straight forward and up front a bit of a smart ass at times but its all in fun, Have a dog at home shes my baby Working alot so time and getting together with some one to have fun with means alot average looking i would say so you see i'm not stuck on my self .

...lol like to joke flirt and have funI have a bit of a wild side to me as you see in my profile maybe I will met that special some one here but until then I like to experament and have fun try out all the 31 flavors .

...lol Always Horny, Stable, Cautious, Wild and Crazy, Realistic, Easy Going, Outgoing, Funny, Silly Pls don t fuck my wife you can find me at IM waiting to talk:} sorry I don't have membership here but if your interested enough in me you know now how to contact me.

Seeking some one who shows up at my door with nothing on under her coat, plants a lip lock on me dam near rapes me while having sex then ask so where we going to dinner i'm hungry .

...lol some one who can be them self and not fake some one who doesn't mind getting dirty or breaking a nail a litte tomboyish but cleans up nicely when its time t go out some where nice , a person who is not affraid to pull up her hair and throw a base ball hat on with no make up on, spear of the momment but also a planner , a bit of a risk taker do you like sex in public want to find out .

...lol you don't have to be a 10 no ones perfect but 5 and above would be nice ....lol

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How We Started Swinging

I hope this doesn't get too long for you, but let me give you some history of us. Even before we got married I knew I could never fully satisfy her sexually. I could eat her to satisfaction, but as soon as I tried to fuck her I cum within 2 or 3 strokes. Sometimes even before getting it in her. We had been living together for about three months when one night while I was at work she got drunk and let one of the guys we work with, and had a reputation of using women for his pleasure, fuck the shit out of her. She said she was sorry and I could really satisfy her with my tongue, but she likes a really good fuck too. She said she would understand if I made her move out. I asked her to marry me instead. Then when I first started to talk about a threesome she was very reluctant to even talk about it. Well it finally came out that she thought that this was just a way for me to get even and other women. So I told her I had no intentions of fucking other women, that I just wanted her to have all the sexual pleasure she desired. So with that said we set some rules to play by. How silly of me to think they would last. 1. This was for her sexual pleasures and her desires. 2. I was not to have any sexual relation with any other woman than her. 3. No kissing that was intimate and was to be reserved for us. 4. Condoms would be used for penetration because I felt that should be reserved for us. Well our first time was pretty much as we had discussed it. We met him for drinks and a "get to know each other meeting". The next meeting we met him at a motel bar. We had a couple of dinks and talked then he asked if he should get a room. Before I could speak she said "sure I'm ready". As soon as he left to get the room I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this. Well her answer was "was I ready to see my wife fucked by another man". About that time he returned with the key and we were off to the room. As soon as we got to the room his shirt was off. As he started to help her with her clothes we could tell she was nervous. So I asked again was she sure she wanted to do this. She was sure , but I should go to the bar and get me another beer and give her a couple of minutes alone with him. When I returned back to the room with my beer I wasn't prepared for what I saw. He was naked laying back on the bed and she was naked kneeling over him sucking away on his cock. His cock was about the same size as mine. She looked up with this big smile and said get your clothes off an cum get this pussy ready for a good fuck. And laid back and spread her legs for me. Well it didn't take but a second to be naked and my head between her leg licking away. I felt him moving on the bed so when I looked up his dick was back in her mouth and she was sucking him as I licked her.